because I'm so tired and feeling kicked-around that I don't have
anything left to give to anyone else. Can't muster up the desire to
care about anyone or anything, because all I can do is find the
emotional strength to be kind to myself. When I'm in the midst of
one of life's emotional depletions, I ponder about how I got into
the situation.
It would be nice if I could blame somebody else (and it's true that
somebody else is most likely involved), but when it all shakes out,
I am responsible for what happens to me. I made choices along the
way to say, "yes," or "no." There may be plenty of reasons why I was
pushed in one direction or the other, but in the end, I am
responsible for my own happiness. If my emotional tank is on empty,
it's because somewhere along the way I chose to give my happiness
away. I chose to go along with things, most likely to keep the
peace, or because someone put up such a fuss that I can't stand the
drama, and I just want it to end. So I folded--against my wishes and
better judgment. But the decision, that in my heart I know is wrong,
only gives me temporary relief, and soon I find myself right back
where I started.
